"This is MOST unorthodox," Fearghas murmured. "Dude, tell me about it. I mean, there's an elf in our house asking me to save all of Lancashire from certain doom," replied Fiachra. "What's that all about?" --- Fiachra is a witch, a twin, a college student and a bit of a dork. His life's going as normally as could be expected for an eccentric living on the outskirts of Bolton, but then things start to happen involving elves, Russians, vampires, nature spirits, murders and weird transmogrifications. At this point normalcy goes straight out the window. Right as the exams are coming up, he is thrust into the middle of a struggle for supremacy that isn't quite your run of the mill battle of good against evil. Between that and people trying to kill or molest him at regular intervals his life might never be the same again! What happens to him at night? What's up with his gay genius brother's burgeoning love life? And will he ever get away with dancing naked round a bonfire?