He thinks he's a deadly ninja. He's not. He's Barry Harris and he still lives with his mum. Barry's been patient, but after twenty-seven years of trimming hedges for people he hates, he's had enough. All he wants to do is to find his missing father and to discover his inner ninja. But life's not done with throwing him curveballs. A fatal mistake catapults Barry into the adventure of a lifetime. With talking hedges, samurai ghosts, meddling psychotherapists, and an inexplicably non-linear time pattern conspiring against him, Barry must do battle to save his hide, unleash the ninja within, and rescue his father from an ancient army, a dark sorcerer and a raging inferno. What is the mysterious Prophecy Allocation Department? Where is The Before and After? Even more importantly, Will Barry's underwear hold out until he has saved the day?