Event producer, music director and community organizer Elaina Martin has, over the past three decades, become widely known in Eastern Ontario, bolstering queer representation, community sustainability and the arts. In this soulful narrative, she shares how she grew into these roles, and what she learned along the way. Her descriptions of the eras, personalities, and local cultures she has known so intimately convey not only the life of one butch, queer musician and writer, but explore the meanings of tragedy, resilience, queer life, contention, forgiveness, and family.From being abused and eventually outed in her northern Ontario town, to singing and partying her way through the best and worst of Ottawa's gay venues at the height of 1990s decadence, to ultimately finding harmony and love, her story will break your heart and ignite your spirit."Elaina Martin warns you in the first few pages of her introductory memoir. You're going to read about some very difficult things and she's willing to talk about the mistakes she made on her road to empowerment. You have no idea. You're not ready." - Natalie Hanna, "Publisher, battleaxe press (small press poetry)."