Have you ever ordered leather cheese? Have you ever told your cab driver that your hotel is located on One-Way Street? I doubt it. But English speakers trying to speak German say bizarre things like this all the time and I, for one, feel their pain. Acutely, even. They are speaking Dumb Deutsch. And they have no one else to blame but themselves. The German language is complex, treacherous and terribly difficult to learn, you see. Dumb Deutsch, on the other hand, is relatively straightforward and can be learned in about fifteen minutes. This is the problem, of course. And here are some of the shocking results. Please sit back and enjoy this short collection of bloodcurdling blunders, frightful faux pas and grisly gaffes, all in the Dumb Deutsch original. For the sake of fairness, a number of ridiculous errors Germans make when trying to speak English have also been included. Bitte Beachten: Diese Sammlung von peinlichen Ausrutschern und haarstraubenden Fehltritten ist selbstverstandlich auch fur deutsche Leser geeignet."