Narrator: Since the disappearance of her father, Princess Dominix feels obliged to accept what - to no one else but herself - are the mystifying whims of the missing king's brother, the Grand Wizard Unkel Spunky Wunky. She is, even now, on her way to meet with him in the mysteriously titled (to her) Hall of the Great Swollen Glans. Pausing half-way down the Staircase of Suckability to pout in the Miraculous Mirror of Mirabelle the Masturbatrix, she stamps her pretty little foot.