A SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR ALIENS IN PARADISE Assisted by gorgeous Inday, Gormless Gordon and Alan, the Awkward Alien; the author, familiar with the Philippines for more than fifteen years, takes a wry look at some of its customs and cultural peculiarities. English (or a form of it) is written and spoken everywhere; there's a Macdonald's on almost every corner and Filipinos are often entranced by a Western lifestyle. But don't be fooled: this isn't the West, it's Asia: a melting pot of influences from Malaysia, China and, of course, the Spanish occupation of these islands for 300 years. With his customary wit and vulgarity, the author offers an invaluable handbook for all those "aliens" who propose an extended visit or residency: it's not a "how to" guide on visas and a million other regulations, but an A-Z run-down of the cultural niceties and expectations that could save the new arrival from making a fool of himself or "pissing off the neighbours". "Absolutely priceless: very useful and I couldn't stop laughing."