If she could speak to them, she would say they have exploded her heart, released firecrackers through her senses. She wishes she could call the police, the ambulance, the fire brigade, to arrest and anaesthetise and waterboard the bastards.

So what happens when your husband runs off with your best friend? When you discover the dead body of an old man halfway through your delivery round? When your house is burgled and you get beaten up? Doris, Andy and Colleen are about to find out. They're also about to discover that you can find friendship and support in the oddest of places...

Heart-rending, humorous and above all authentic, The Distorted Days is an exquisitely written account of the ways in which life can knock you off our feet - and how you can pick yourself up again. If you've experienced the fickleness of fortune, this is a book that you'll never forget.