What do you do when you're desperate for a baby? True, it was my fault I didn't start trying till I was in my early 40s. Four failed IVFs, and two miscarriages later, I knew I needed a donor. I found one and had a good pregnancy. But that's when the trouble started. He never felt like mine. It turns out, I'm not alone. Many women have trouble connecting with their donor- conceived children. Since we have no blood connection to them, it can be hard to feel like this child is really yours. Even as this beautiful child grew, and clearly saw me as his mother, the feeling that I was not, still overwhelmed me. This is about my journey to learn and accept that Phillip is truly my son.