This humorous guide to Texas offers a description of the many splendors of Texas: ambling along uncrowded beaches, azaleas and dogwoods in the spring, distinctive epicurean cuisine (grits), songs to help ya'll get chronically depressed, sprinting along those uncrowded beaches chased by seven trillion mosquitoes, and other delights such as boiled okra. Here you'll find out about things that will try to kill you like weather and gar. You'll also be warned about places where you might get trampled to death like rodeos and dances. And then there are odious insects like love bugs and roaches. You'll be fully informed about the music, culture, and feedlots that make Texas one of the most interesting places south of Oklahoma. It's all here in this definitive work on Texas-a great place to bury Cadillacs.