If you know me. If you grew up around me. If you met me in the Corps. If you met me in the enema factory. If you met me in the corporate IT world. If you met me on Facebook. If you met me at a comic book swap. If you know me at all-nothing in this book will come as a surprise. I'm a whole lot like I was from the time I was a freckle-faced curly headed fat kid wandering the streets of Salem, a mullet wearing fat kid in high school in Alsea, a high and tight wearing diet private in the Corps in San Diego, a purple mohawk wearing fat guy in Denver, a curly long haired fat guy in Lynchburg, and a slightly greying high and tight with a fade fat guy back in Salem. Things have changed about me-mainly my hair style, but most things about me have sustained their orbit. I evolve when presented with my own ignorance. I apologize when it's warranted, and I still laugh at myself. I still love what I loved then and haven't changed my core beliefs. I'm goofy as shit. I'm blissfully ignorant when sanity's sake is in the moment. I still read. I still love the Little Mermaid. I still love GI Joe. I still collect toys and comics. I still write. I still laugh. I'm still loyal. I'm still kind and appreciative. I'm still fat. I'm still the Polish Burrito. I hope you get a laugh out of this book. It exists solely to elicit a chuckle or two from your lips. It's just me and my imagination and a keyboard and whatever dumb memory or notion that flits into my head at the moment I was writing. Rhyme or reason are trivialities that I fail to recognize or honor in these pages. Instead, you'll get nonsense and frivolity daisy chained to moments of reflection and comicality. So, sit, read, maybe giggle, maybe not, but let the world fall away for a minute or two here and there and hopefully not regret the time you spent with this book. Enjoy. Good times. Cazart.