Full of the leading Effam characters, this is the final book in the Captain Shoelace trilogy. Will Captain Shoelace finally leave the English village of Effam? Will a buyer come forward to buy his house, formerly known as No.9 Cleo Lane, which he has understatedly renamed 'Magnificent Mansion'? Will he achieve his life-long ambition to meet the Queen? Will his true identity be revealed? Will the thuggish Constable Haywain get his just desserts? What has happened to Mr Johnson's sumptuous Donald Duck novelty slippers? All this, and more, will be revealed as the Captain Shoelace series comes to a dramatic conclusion. "Captain Shoelace, I thought it was just malarkey, when you told me about your Iraqi khaki parquet." said Sam poetically on her return, to what might loosely be described as, the garden. Contains Adult humour.