Jo-Jo "J.J." Suff, the pen-name of the anonymous author, shares his revealing story of vast, chaotic government procedures, bureaucratic buffoonery, and shocking waste, all in a comedic, direct style. J.J. is a retired 30-plus year Contracting Officer with the U. S. Department of Defense, who has had past works published on Federal Government dysfunction and waste under his real name. Possible causes for pandemic Bureaucracitis are explored, as are offered treatments, including ways to reduce its extraordinary costs, and suggested coping strategies for paperwork "Minions" facing the micro-controlling ways of their "Rulers" in huge bureaucracies. A number of fellow Minions helped the author develop the book's chapters, such as The Outputs are Inputs, The Trilogy of Failure, Self-Awareness Deficit Disorder (SADD), and The Four Stages of Federal Employee Assimilation. Bureaucracitis is an entertaining, impactful page-turner for Federal Employees, others working in public service or similar large disorganizations, and concerned taxpayers, with half of the writer's proceeds being donated to the Tunnel-2-Towers Foundation, the author's favorite cause in retirement. (Print length is approximately 140 pages)