An honest, funny, and at times heartbreaking memoir spanning nearly twenty years in the Royal New Zealand Navy. From small-town New Zealand to service in Afghanistan, Brad Poulter's journey toward embracing his sexuality mirrors the transformation of the Navy itself--from an era of "don't ask, don't tell" to becoming one of the world's most inclusive defense forces.
Raised among strong women, butcher's benches, and rigid ideas about what it meant to be a man, Brad Poulter knew he was different long before he had the words to explain why.
But in small-town New Zealand in the late 1990s, being "different" wasn't something you talked about--it was something you hid.
Joining the Royal New Zealand Navy offered escape, certainty, and a sense of belonging. The rules were clear, the uniform fit, and silence felt like part of the job.
But passing as straight came at a cost.
As deployments mounted--including service in Afghanistan during the War on Terror--the strain of hiding his true self collided with trauma, grief, and the search for identity. Eventually, something had to give.
From ship's galleys to combat zones, interrogation rooms to leadership tables, Built For This traces a life shaped by discipline, loyalty, and unspoken expectations. It is also the story of what happens when you stop accepting those expectations and begin rebuilding yourself on your own terms.
Honest, insightful, and often humorous, this powerful memoir explores masculinity--how it is inherited, performed, and challenged--and the courage it takes to live authentically.