Things aren't going well for Southend United fan Richie Price. He's lost his job and been booted out of the family home by the wife he adores after an unfortunate "incident". But Richie has a clever plan to win back Julie's affections by becoming a Premier League footballer - despite the fact he's 42, well overweight and has always been terrible at playing the Beautiful Game. And as our hero struggles to make his ridiculous plan succeed, new enemies emerge who are determined to bring down soccer's unlikeliest superstar.