Amanda lived her childhood in a secret hell of sex abuse and violence. Oral sex and rape. Sex with her father from four until she was eleven and then with two of her mothers boyfriends culminating in one terrible night, with her mother helping to rape her and actively joining in her rape when she was thirteen. Most of what happened was bottled up and remained a never discussed secret, until she met Tony and fell hopelessly in love with him. It was only then that she felt she could at last give this account of what really happened to her as a child in this book of their own story and very unusual love relationship.