Alan's life has been one of abuse by the people closest to him. The violation of his body in adolescence nearly destroyed him, and the knowledge of what was done to him has hung round his neck like a ball and chain ever since. But emotional, sexual and physical abuse had started long before that, and learning to survive had become his way of life as a child. Two years in care at a residential school saved his life. The school gave him a glimpse of a different world, one of kindness, hope and decency. He came to believe he could be part of that world. Afterwards he met betrayal and breakdown, but held onto hope. Thanks to the mental health services that helped him hold on, Alan has been strong enough to write down his story. He hopes his book will help others find their way out too.