In 1981, during a family year away from New Zealand, four-month-old Alexander died in a London hospital. Jan Pryor blends her personal experience of losing a child with her professional understanding of family dynamics and children's development. The clumsiness of consolation; the challenges of organising a funeral - and what to do with Alexander's ashes; the isolation, being far from friends and family; continuing family life with two other young children to care for; all are described directly but without self-pity. The experience of growing up in 1960s New Zealand - and the stand-off between traditional expectations of the role of a woman versus the pull towards a professional life - is interwoven throughout the memoir. After Alexander is a story of triumph over loss, and of optimism. It offers consolation and hope to parents who have lost a child, to those who fear losing a child, and to anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one.