ACQUARO is NOT the feel good read of the summer. ACQUARO is NOT going to be the next blockbuster Hollywood film. ACQUARO is NOT going to win the Pulitzer Prize or any other literary award. ACQUARO is NOT for children or small animals. ACQUARO is NOT the type of book your mother wants you reading. ACQUARO is NOT a good Christmas gift for your father in law. ACQUARO is NOT going to score you any points with that cute chick at Starbucks. ACQUARO is NOT going to make you more attractive to the mustache enthusiast in your sociology class. ACQUARO WILL make you sick to your stomach if you are foolish enough to read it. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED