You can read it in the way it was written--from the first chapter to the last--or you can read it in reverse, but the ending will not change. This is a story of a gay man who cannot seem to catch a break. From losing a job to closing a business to a cheating lover, all these things push him to a kind of darkness that becomes inescapable. Why does one want to kill himself? For those on the outside looking in, we want to find one particular reason that pushes a person to the edge. But for those living with darkness and depression, it is never just one thing. It's an accumulation of failures and shortcomings, a lifetime of continuously being broken into pieces until the only escape is death.