The State Of Affairs: Rethinking InfidelityDe (autor) Esther Perel
en Limba Engleză Carte Paperback – 12 Oct 2017
'Beautiful. A brilliantly intelligent plea for complexity, understanding, and - as always - kindness.'
Alain de Botton
'Esther Perel does nothing short of strip us of our deepest biases, remind us of our purpose in connecting as lovers, and save relationships that might otherwise sink into the sea-all with even-handed wisdom, fresh morality, and wise prose. Thank heavens for this woman.'
Lena Dunham, author of Not That Kind of Girl
Iconic couples' therapist and bestselling author Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity.
An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so too have the prohibitions against it - in fact, adultery has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood.
What are we to make of this time-honored taboo - universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat? When we say 'infidelity', what exactly do we mean? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage?
Psychotherapist Esther Perel is recognised as one of the most insightful and original voices on modern love. For the past ten years, she has worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she argues, but healing is possible. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage - with the same person. With the right approach, couples can learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Weaving real-life stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis, Perel invites readers into a truly revealing exploration of modern marriage.
Dimensiuni: 146 x 219 x 27 mm
Greutate: 0.36 kg
Editura: Yellow Kite
“[Perel] deals with the mess and pain of fractured relationships with searing honesty, astute observations and compassion… If your marriage were in trouble, you’d want her help.”
“As someone so completely plugged into the world of relationships, it makes sense that Perel would have some incredible insight into the most important one of all: the relationship we have with ourselves.”
“She doesn’t peddle in bromides or offer a shoulder to cry on — she’s too busy trying to shake you to your senses, insisting on your agency, your vitality and your complicity in what happens in your marriage.“
“Esther Perel is one of the most influential and well-known psychotherapists in the world. Through TED Talks, best-selling books, a podcast (Where Should We Begin?), and her clinical practice in New York City, she explores the one subject she believes interests every human: relationships.”
“Sexologist Perel, a marriage crisis ‘first responder,’ excavates the messy psychology of infidelity, digging into such charged topics as the ‘new shame’ of wives—staying with a cheater—and why even happy partners sometimes stray.”
“In her opinion, confronting and unearthing the why behind an affair with honesty and courage, can steer a relationship back from brink—possibly towards a place of erotic rediscovery.”
“Relationship therapist Esther Perel is probably the world’s foremost authority on infidelity.”
“Esther Perel is America’s first clear-eyed public intellectual on love.”
“Esther Perel is widely recognized as the world’s leading expert on marriage.”
“The State of Affairs examines infidelity from all points of view – the person who cheated, the person who was cheated on, and the third party – in an attempt to understand how to make modern relationships more resilient.”
“Perel is a master at what she does.”
“Ms. Perel doesn’t recommend that couples be unfaithful—far from it. But she thinks that affairs can happen in stable, happy marriages, and that they often have more to do with a person than a relationship.”
“Perel suggests that one factor driving infidelity in otherwise happy marriages is the fact that we rely on our spouse for too much, particularly too much in our own quest for self-discovery.”
“The Book is sure to spark intelligent conversations that will have readers everywhere examining their belief systems… A thought-provoking take on relationships and essential reading for couples dealing with infidelity.”
“Unfailingly empathetic…. The State of Affairs is packed with such sage insights…. Through her formidable elegance, Perel manages to infuse some dignity into the pettiness of most betrayals.”
“Perel takes an unconventional look at infidelity.”
“With a Francophone accent that sounds just as knowledgeable as it does erotic, to say Perel is easy on the ears is an understatement.”
“Perel takes a peel-the-layers approach to infidelity that surprises on every page…. [She] weaves together a collection of personal stories that is both thrilling (you feel like you’re eavesdropping) and moving.”
“Perel spends much of her book examining the psychological meaning, motivation, and impact of these affairs.”
“If anyone knows the varied ways cheating can impact a marriage, it’s Esther Perel.”
“[Perel] uses her findings to confront some of the most controversial and uncomfortable topics…. Here is a woman who, after spending three decades listening to tales of lies, pain and illicit sex, still believes in our ability to love and be loved in an honest, nuanced way.”
“Sure to get a lot of people talking.”
“One of the most respected voices on erotic intelligence, she views sexuality as a lens through which to examine the progressive or conservative forces at work in a society.”
“Perel uses conversation, knowledge, intuition, and creativity to make incisive interpretations that, at their most elegant, are not only helpful but artful. Listening to these sessions is deeply provoking.”
“[Perel is] a genius in this area of understanding deep relationships.”
“[Perel] is the real deal and very, very insightful…. Highly recommend [The State of Affairs].”
“She has an incredible ability to speak the truth in a way that cuts you to the core and also makes you feel safe to explore topics we usually don’t talk about.”
“There’s a reason Esther Perel is the sex expert people can’t stop reading: she gets results.”
“It’s fascinating because it makes you question your beliefs on the nature of adultery when you view it in a less one-dimensional way.”
“It’s the knowledge and research Perel has amassed on infidelity over the years, through her work as a couple’s therapist, that’s most compelling…. Perel is defiantly non-judgmental.”
“Perel proposes a radically new way of thinking about infidelity that goes beyond the havoc it wreaks and drills down to its motives.”
“This is an addictive read. Beautifully written by Esther Perel, author of bestseller Mating in Captivity, [The State of Affairs] delves into the murky world, of deceit, betrayal and ultimate pain.”
“Perel’s well-researched book sheds light on the idea that couples not only have the ability to move past an infidelity, but they can come out stronger.”
“Esther Perel, a well known Belgian therapist who works with couples and speaks quite a bit on infidelity, says that affairs are not merely an act of betrayal but also an expression of longing and loss.”