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Astăzi am ales un bestseller de Robert Kelsey, The Outside Edge: How Outsiders Can Succeed in a World Made by Insiders, o carte de referință pentru el.
Cred că măcar o dată în viață te simți outsider, asta poate să fie de bine.
THE MISFITS
First let’s recognize the outsider. We’re all born to a tribe, and of a landscape. It’s inescapable. But we don’t all fit in. Some of us – for reasons we’ll explore later – become alienated from the others. We’re the misfits: rejecting or rejected by the colony. Over time, we develop an outlook that emphasizes the disconnect we feel with our peers. And, soon enough, we’re on the edge, looking in – or just as often looking away.
There’s nothing inherently enabling about this situation, no matter what the view of fashionable commentators. There are no advantages. There’s no edge to being on the edge. In fact, over millennia it’s a predicament costing misfits dear. Ostracism, bullying, assault – even rape and murder – are the usual results; as is anxiety, loneliness, depression and even suicide for those not a central part of the clan. When the food runs out or the gods neeed pacifying, it’s the outsider that’s sacrificed. Hence the anxiety.
Children and animals instinctively know this, and spend their lives jockeying for position. They’re vying for centrality, and detest any imposition that hinders the quest. As a child, I rejected school lifts from my father because he drove a Rover 3800 – preferring instead to trudge miles across muddy fields and spend the day with my flares rimmed with the Essex mud that denoted my membership of the clan.
Yet the terror of rejection follows us into adulthood. Even our love of fashion is little more than tribal signalling that we’re in with the in-crowd: central rather than peripheral. It says that we’re keen to follow our tribal leaders and be part of their ‘set’ (with flamboyant clothes little more than a bid for leadership). Fortunes are made on the assumption we’ll cough up to be on the right side of the velvet rope – touching the nucleus. Nick Jones founded Soho House in London on that very premise, with his East London outpost – Shoreditch House – a constant reminder of my own inability to integrate with this human core. To forever be the man at street level, peering through frosted glass at a world out of reach.
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